A Crack-ed Crown
by RaidenF
Summary: The Crown of Legions, by SunPraiser31, Abridged. Basically.


Ogygia was an enigma of a place. Everywhere, yet nowhere. There, yet here. In Thanos' ass, yet not. It was a place of secrets, solitude and something else that starts with S. It was a prison under the guise of paradise. A wolf in sheep's clothing. That one line from Macbeth that said 'Fair is foul and foul is fair' except it's just the first half. Ogygia was many things, and yet many things it was not. Nonetheless, it was one thing, if nothing else: a very good place for secrets.

Now Poseidon wasn't blind, no. Far from it, in fact. But when he emerged from the water, staring at the island, he could barely see it with how much mist was around. He cursed under his breath and waded over to the shore. Pausing before he got out, he turned back, looking at how his squad grew. When he started his journey, he had, at most, three dolphins. Now, there were at least two fish and a minimum of four dolphins. There was probably a whale, considering the sounds he heard. Needless to say, Poseidon had a huge squad following him. He could have waged a small war if he wanted to. Not that he would, but the thought briefly entertained him. He dismissed the sea creatures; loyal as they were, this was still a place for secrets. They needn't be here.

Stepping into the mist was like swimming through the desert. The air felt wrong, the moisture off and everything set Poseidon on edge. Good thing he wore some edge protective clothes otherwise he'd have cut himself.

He trudged along, trying to find the place where he and his brother said they were to meet. The mist cleared as he walked, and he saw that instead of the usual bright skies of Ogygia, there were some storm clouds. Zeus, always being dramatic.

Poseidon continued walking, glancing around at the plants and flowers that scattered the land. He preferred his underwater plants and coral, but as a connoisseur of the finer things in life, he appreciated land plants all the same. Coral was still better though.

He came upon his brother, staring at some random plant with his face scrunched. Poseidon approached.

"Poseidon," Zeus greeted, looking up at his brother.

"Zeus," Poseidon said, holding out a hand for a handshake. Zeus obliged, though the handshake given was not your average shake and let go. No, these men - nay, Gods - had a ritual to do, and they would do it. A simple shake into a flare of the fingers, slide away and high five, before spinning around, finger guns. Two bangs, each gave before straightening themselves out as they gently tapped their elbows together.

A similar string of events related to hand shakes continued for about five minutes, before the two finished it off with a backflip.

"So cool," Zeus whispered.

"You know it," Poseidon whispered back.

Then Hades showed up, and they did the same handshake with him.

After about ten minutes of a secret handshake, the two arrivals were staring at Zeus.

"Oi, Zeus," Poseidon spoke up. Zeus looked up from examining a flower.

"Yes?"

"What are we doing here?" Poseidon asked.

"Well, my toilet seems to be blocked and it smells like something died in there," replied Zeus.

"Just cause it smells like something died doesn't mean you need to call me for it dammit," Hades squinted at Zeus.

"C'mon Hades, just take the body," Zeus said.

"You think imma stick my hand in your toilet? Fuck no," the God of Death replied

"What the fuck?" Poseidon whispered to himself. Zeus turned to the God of the sea.

"Poseidon, please?"

"Why are you looking at me?" the God in question replied.

"You can do water stuff right?" Zeus asked hopefully.

"Yeah, but I ain't doing water stuff where you do your business."

"Don't fish literally shit in your domain?" Zeus said.

"...he has a point," Hades added.

"Shut the fuck up," Poseidon glared.

"Please?" Zeus tried.

"No," Poseidon shot down.

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"I said no." Hades picked at his nose, watching.

"C'mooon, help a brother out, would ya? Pleaaase?"

"...fine."

"Really?" Zeus asked, hope in his eyes.

"No."

"Aw…" Defeated, Zeus slumped slightly.

"Now that that's out of the way, is there anything else?" Hades asked, flicking his findings off to the side.

"I mean that was basically everything, but also there was this thing Apollo told me about and it's probably important but I'll just make a discord group we can talk there," Zeus said, scratching at his beard.

"A'ight," Hades shrugged

"Then why the fuck did we meet?" Poseidon asked, exasperated.

"My toilet, obviously," Zeus said, before zapping himself away.

"Hades, do yo-" Poseidon turned to his brother, only to find a wisp of flames in his place. Poseidon held his head in his hands.

"I'm surrounded by idiots."

**Alrighty, I hope you enjoyed! Sun, i hope you did too, and I'll probably update again...hopefully! :D**


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